Bloom seems to be the in vogue graphical effect this generation and Nihilistic Software seems to subscribe to the same player blinding philosophy as many of their peers. Just a note for developers; gamers do not enjoy every game looking as if it is being played in intense sunshine, ok. Otherwise, the graphics in Conan are pretty average. There is great scale on show throughout and it is certainly not an ugly game. However, the textures and geometry do look very PS2-like and it is far, far away from the best looking games on the platform.

Speaking of good looks, Conan has the opportunity along his travels to help out a number of damsels in distress who just happen to be naked. Upon unchaining them, they express their gratitude by uttering some incredibly tacky come-ons, such as “take me and crush me with your love”. Conan does not actually partake in any crushing however; instead preferring to stand by and watch as the women vaguely wobble their bare breasts with about as much enthusiasm as a Britney Spears VMA performance.

In a way, their half-hearted performance sums up Conan. Despite its issues, it is still a competent action-adventure, but the lack of variety really starts to harm the enjoyment in the later stages. It seems as if the developers set out with the intention of making an epic adventure, but ran out of ideas half-way through and were not fully able to realise their vision. If you are looking for a God of War-lite then Conan certainly fulfils that, just do not expect the fully developed experience that Sony’s title offers.